Reflective Essay

Overall, I think I performed exceptionally well in all aspects of this film making process. Although tough, working as an individual instead of with a four or five person production team was very stressful, it was also a lot more rewarding when I had completed the assemble edit, added sound and received a lot of positive feedback.

Prior to starting out with this project my preference was with reality, realism films and documentaries. I wanted to give myself a challenge and try and make something that I had never thought of before and something that would have pushed me out of my comfort zone. I also wanted to gain more editing experience and make a film that had little dialogue and played about with expressionism and symbolism a lot. I was aware that I was taking a risk with this, also being a one woman team but I am so glad I decided to push myself. I could have taken the easy option and film a real life person who is in someway dislocated.

I dont think I was faced with any problems apart from just the stress of being alone and worrying if i was prepared enough and worrying about how my subject would perform (as she has no acting experience at all) I was aware I was taking a risk but she had the exact, striking look I was imagining so I believe it worked out well. In relation to the sound in my film, there were some mishaps, although these were easily fixable. Also the production folder was a lot to do along with trying to get the edit perfect. If I were to undertake a project like this again, although I am proud of myself for doing it as an individual I would at least try to recruit at least one other person to bounce ideas off.

Naming the film

After the successful Filming on Day two it suddenly dawned on me that I had yet to give my end of year film a title. I didn't want to name my film 'Dislocation' as this was the brief I was working on. I wanted a name that correlated well with the art-house, expressionistic poetic cinema that I was taking inspiration from. I began thinking about the title. One of the symbols I incorporated into my film was the 'Egg' symbol, as this is a symbol of fertility, rebirth and the symbol of life (I was also shooting on Easter Sunday!) and of course the religious element is suggested also. To add to the symbol I added in a scene in which the young son is painting  the Eggs on Easter Sunday to keep hinting at the connotations of the symbol. In the black and white scenes where the mother is tormented by grief she is sitting next to the broken egg shells this is again hinting at loss, the once colourful symbols of fertility and life are now broken which symbolises loss and death. Due to this exploration with expressionism and Eggs I decided to name my film 'Egg', I made this decision as this is a short and quite enigmatic title that in itself expresses something to the audience.

Shoot update

I began shooting on the 19th and 20th April for my end of year film. I had a clear idea of what I wanted to shoot and how I wanted to do it. I had a shot list, script and a list of objects and symbols that I wanted to film even as an experiment to use in my edit. I made sure I was very well prepared as I am working as an individual and do not have any class friends to help me out if I were to get stuck with something. This added a lot of pressure onto the shoot but I was prepared and stayed positive.

On the first day of my shoot, I arrived at the location, late as there was a problem with the bus schedules due to the Easter Holiday period. I first of all got experimenting with the settings on the camera for the light of the first scenes of the extreme close ups of the woman's face as she is in a state of grief on the beach. I wanted to get these shots just as the sun was setting in the sky so I white balanced it for the correct amount of light. I took a lot of takes on these shots as I wanted to try my best to capture this emotion. This was the only thing I shot on the first night as it was not the ideal light I wanted for the rest of the footage. The first couple of shots I captured on day 1 were very striking and I was very happy with them. I was then really eager to get shooting on the second day.

Screen shots taken from my film.

The pitch

This project requires me to pitch my final year film idea to an audience. The reason for this is to make sure all of my plans are in order for being able to plan and produce a cinematic piece to be screened in the Odeon cinema Belfast. In order to be prepared for my pitch I began writing notes and sketches on A3 paper. I plan to cut out photographs of my locations and some inspirational shots and symbolism. I also went to my location and got used to using the Canon XF-100 I used this in a documentary film I had made earlier in the year.

Exploring the Expression of visual language in my story.

Below I have shown a breakdown of certain visuals in my story and how I will replicate them visually on screen for my end of year film. I have mentioned previous symbols I intend to use but in this post I will go into the exploration of my visuals in more depth. I am aware that this will help me as a film-maker to plan an array of visuals as pre- production before I begin making a shot list and so on.




The first thing I will be expressing visually is the location. The main location I have chosen for my film is Coney Island Beach County Down. I am aware that the visuals for this will depend heavily on the weather on the week I begin shooting. I am also wary of filming at night in darkness although I am certain I want to include the coastal lighthouse in some on my visuals.

I like the visual idea of a lighthouse as they symbolize  beckoning people back home. Lighthouses were meant to guide sailors back into the harbor, back home. So the lighthouse, in a way, represents the return of optimism and of life back on shore, back home. This relates to my story as my character is dislocated from a normal life of life. She is trapped in a Psychological state and in need of help. The light on the shore symbolizes the danger and the possible end to the dislocation she is facing.



The sea is another visual I want to explore. The sea can be a symbol of  the process of therapy; its calm presence and sense of space, a place to reflect on the past, and to dream and hope about the future. A place to look ahead and 
imagine what could be waiting on the horizon, actually or metaphorically. The sea can mirror a persons mood, for example full of rage beating off the shore. The sea can also be a symbol of life and death and danger.



I intend to visually express my main characters thought and memories with the use of flash backs of her and her son on the beach. I intend to film these hand held and almost in a dream like sequence with pull focus.



Another visual I want to express is the dislocated and trapped state of the protagonists mind. I think I can do this by using an isolated forest where the protagonist looks lost.

Using Symbolism

Symbolism is the practice or art of using an object or a word to represent an abstract idea. An action, person, place, word, or object can all have a symbolic meaning.


I plan to use a lot of symbolism in my film, as I mentioned before Maya Deren used a lot of this in her experimental work and I would love to take inspiration from her work. Now that I have the concept and the reasoning behind the protagonists psychological dislocation I can begin building the plot up with the  use of symbols, sounds and visuals. The cause for the mothers dislocation - 'disturbance from a proper, original, or usual place or state' is the death of her son. The most common symbol for this, as Maya Deren also used is the Grim Reaper.

I could incorporate this into one or two of my visuals. A broken mirror can represent loss and seperation. An empty field, an animals body, items left in a public place for example, a coat, a book and a used candle, these are just a few symbols which can portray loss.

I will deffinately be incorporating various of these symbols into my film. I find it a very interesting way to give meaning behind a film with little or no dialogue and I am looking forward to producing this film.

The concept.

 I have chosen to base my end of year film on the Psychological dislocation that a mother has experienced after the loss and death of her child. The plot will follow a non linear narrative which explores the dislocation within the balance of the woman's brain. The locations will be mainly set in Coney Island county down. I intend to include various beach scenes including the light of a lighthouse and imaginary sightings of her son. I intend to do a bit more research and then begin writing the first draft of my script.